Sawturama
by Audra Markwell
Summary: How different would the Saw story be if its characters were replaced by those from Futurama? Find out here. If you've seen Saw, you know what kind of language to expect and will understand why this story is given an M rating.


**Disclaimer: I can't stress this enough: I do not own **_**Saw**_** or **_**Futurama. **_**They belong to James Wan, Leigh Whannell, and Lionsgate, Fox Networks and Matt Groening. I give full credit to Matt and Fox for the **_**Futurama **_**characters and credit to James, Leigh and Lionsgate for the **_**Saw**_** dialogue and characters. No copyright infringement of any kind is intended and this was just done for the many fans of both **_**Saw **_**and **_**Futurama.**_** Much kudos and love to James, Leigh, Matt, and all those connected with this wonderful movie and cartoon.**

_Sawturama: _A_ Saw _and_ Futurama _Crossover

A fanfic written for fans of _Saw _and _Futurama. _This fanfic features _Futurama _characters in the place of _Saw_ characters, using the dialogue and storyline from _Saw._ Enjoy, everyone! Again, no copy infringement intended. This was written you fans of _Saw _and _Futurama. _I'm making no money or any other profit from this story. It's for my writing enjoyment and your reading enjoyment.

**Cast of Characters**

**Kif Kroaker as Adam Faulkner**

**Turanga Morris as Dr. Lawrence Gordon**

**Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth as John "Jigsaw" Kramer**

**Michelle (Fry's 20****th**** century girlfriend) as Amanda**

**Phillip J. Fry as Detective Tapp**

**Bender Rodriguez as Detective Sing**

**Turanga Leela as Kerry**

**Zapp Brannigan as Zepp Hindle**

**Turanga Munda as Allison Gordon**

**Amy Wong (the six-year-old version) as Diana Gordon**

**Hermes Conrad as Paul**

**Dr. John Zoidberg as Mark**

Had anybody been in the dead-quiet, pitch-black room, the only light that they would have seen would have been a small blue light, apparently floating, glowing brightly enough to barely illuminate the face of a young alien. As the alien lay, unconscious, in the tub full of cold water, the little blue light drifted past his face, heading down for his torso, making its way slowly toward the alien's webbed feet.

Suddenly, the alien awakened, his yellow eyes huge under the water.

Kif Kroaker gasped as water filled his nostrils and mouth. In his panic, he groped for the sides of the bathtub.

In his panic, he never felt the chain of the tub's drain plug wrap around his ankle. He didn't hear the pop as the plug came out of the drain. He didn't hear the brief _clink_ as something small and metallic slipped down the drain, along with the freezing water.

With water dripping into his eyes, Kif grabbed the side of the bathtub and pulled himself over the edge. With a wet _splat_, he fell sideways onto the floor, landing hard. Pain shot through the entire left side of his body. In his coughing fit, Kif thought dimly that he might've cracked a hip and shoulder bone, if he had had them.

As he tried to get up, Kif felt something around his ankle. Groping in the darkness, he felt a ring of iron on his ankle: a manacle.

_What the fuck is this? _Kif thought. _Where am I?_

He couldn't see for the thickness of the darkness. Groping around, he felt a length of thick chain attached to the manacle. Wrapping his hands around, he pulled himself to his feet.

The chain was attached to something……unforgiving. Unyeilding. Kif felt his way along the chain and realized the end was bound a pipe. A thick pipe.

Kif was trapped.

How the hell did he get there? Where in New New York was he? Was he even _in_ New New York?

Panic filled Kif.

"Help!" Kif yelled, almost ashamed of how high his voice came out. Who cared, though? No one else was here.

Or were they?

"Someone help me!"

Suddenly, Kif heard a sound that seemed to come from across the room. An electrical buzzing. It sounded to him as though something had been powered up, but not necessarily turned on.

"Is someone there?"

No one answered.

"Hey!" Kif called again.

No reply. The room was silent except for the sound of far-off plumbing.

Kif began shiver. The low temperature of the room combined with his sopping clothes and darkness began to take effect on him.

Hoping to find a light switch, or at least try to identify what kind of room he was in, Kif began to feel around. Beneath his hands and feet, he felt grime on the hard, smooth floor. He knew a bathtub was to his right. Judging by the sounds of plumbing around him, he was in a bathroom.

Suddenly, a smell hit his nose. An awful smell.

The smell of decay mixed with, well, shit. Like one hundred people used this bathroom in a year and the toilet backed up every time someone flushed, the place never being cleaned.

"Oh, shit. I'm probably dead." Kif muttered.

"You're not dead,"

Kif jumped a mile. A man's voice. Calm, tired, almost bored. The voice seemed to have come from across the room.

"Who's that?" Kif called. The man didn't answer. "Who's that?!" Kif yelled, louder, impatient.

"No point in yelling. I already tried it," the man said, still in that same calm voice.

"Turn on the lights!" Kif ordered, desperate to see this man for himself.

"Would if I could," the voice said. The calmness in this man's voice was maddening. How in the hell could someone in this position be so mellow?

His patience ebbing away, Kif began to feel around again. "What the fuck is going on? Where am I?"

"I don't know yet," the man said.

Kif crinkled his nose. That rancid smell was starting to make his stomach roll. "What is that _smell_?" he asked the darkness.

"Shhh, hang on a second," the man said. Kif immediately went quiet. "I think I found something."

Kif heard a click, and then a buzz similar to the one he'd heard before, only much louder.

Suddenly, Kif was blinded as several lights went on overhead, flooding the room was bright white light. Grimacing, Kif put his hands to his face, his eyes burning. It was like staring directly into the sun.

Through the bright light and the half-closed lids of his eyes, Kif could make out several dark shapes. He counted backward from twenty before daring to open his eyes again.

Blurrily, Kif could make out the shape of a man standing across from him. As his vision grew clearer, he noticed one particular oddity about the man. He had one giant blue eye that seemed to take up most of his face. With his light blue hair and prematurely lined face, Kif guessed that the man might be a decade older than him.

Although the man's voice was calm, Kif could see that the man, squinting at the bright light, was just as confused and frightened as he was. His clothes were stained with sweat, and he was also chained to a thick metal pipe, a manacle wrapped around his ankle.

The second thing Kif noticed that he was indeed in a bathroom. It was filthy. Grime on the floor and toilet. A stained mirror to Kif's left. A large pool of blood on the floor.

Wait, blood?

Kif's mouth dropped open as he focused on the dark mass in the middle of the floor. Kneeling down, he edged as close as he dared to the shape on the floor. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the other man lean forward to study the same thing.

It was a man. A dead man. Lying facing in a pool of blood. His bald head was a mess. A ruined mass of blood and brain matter.

What happened to this man? None of their 31st-century weapons could create this kind of mess. Sure, they had laser guns, but they instantly cauterized any wound they made. No blood.

Kif then noticed a metal something in the dead man's hand. It was a primative version of a gun. The kind that had existed in the 21st century, before they were replaced by the high-tech laser guns back in 2156. The kind that fired small pieces of metal that caused violet deaths instantly. The kind that could only create a scene like the one before his eyes.

Kif had never seen anything like this. He had to turn away. His stomach roiled, and he felt vomit rise up into his throat. Coughing, Kif retched and dirtied the floor even more.

Kif felt rage and frustraion tear through his body. This wasn't right. He and some other guy were in a bathroom, trapped like wild animals. Some poor guy had somehow gotten ahold of an old gun and shot himself. Losing control, Kif screamed and began to tug on the chain holding him where he was. He knew it was fruitless, but he had to do something. He couldn't sit there calmly like the cyclops on the other side of the room.

"_HELP!!!!!!!"_ Kif screamed. He pulled on the chain again. And again. And again. The chain didn't budge. His anger intensified.

The cyclops calmly watched him. He had already done this half an hour ago. There was no point to this kid screaming his throat raw.

"No one can hear you," he said.

"What the fuck is this?!" Kif asked him angrily.

"Calm down, just calm down," the man said.

Kif, panting hard, looked up at him. Calm down? Was this guy serious?

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

"I don't know," Kif said. He quickly looked down at himself. He was still sore from the way he'd tumbled out of the bathtub. "Yeah!"

"What's your name?" the man asked.

"My name is Very Fucking Confused," Kif spat. "What's your name? What's going on here?"

"My name is Turanga Morris, I'm a doctor," Morris said. "I just woke up here, just like you."

Morris watched as Kif sat down and began to struggle with the manacle on his foot. Wincing, he tried to slide the manacle off of his boneless foot, but it was locked too tight around his ankle. Whoever had done this to him clearly knew what they doing.

Morris studied the man lying in middle of the room. Like Kif, he'd never seen anything like this. As a doctor to both mutants and normals alike, he'd seen plenty of injuries. No one had ever shot themselves with an old gun. The only primative gun left in existence was in the Museum of Natural History, not far from the manhole under which he lived.

"Recognize him?" Morris asked Kif.

Kif spared the body a quick glance and resumed what he was doing. "No."

"Well, do you have any idea how you got here?"

"No,"

_Damn uncooperative kid, _Morris thought. Short on patience, he persisted. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Kif gave up on the chains for a moment and glanced at Morris. "Nothing. I went to bed in my shit-hole apartment, and woke up in an actual shit-hole. What about you, huh?"

Morris shook his head. He wasn't about to go into any details. "


End file.
